Hollywood Redefines Stupid - Asteroids: The Movie
Just when you thought movies about asteroids couldn’t possibly get any more lame than Michael Bay’s Armageddon, along comes a project that simply baffles the mind: Asteroids. As in, the 1979 version of the classic videogame Asteroids. The game where you shot asteroids. That’s it. You shot asteroids into smaller pieces and then shot those as well. Sometimes the plot would be spruced up with an intermittent spaceship. Sometimes it would be the real small one that was difficult to hit. That’s Asteroids in a nutshell.
Now imagine 90-minutes of film wasted on that concept.
My balls just shriveled.
With Ridley Scott’s Monopoly movie in the works, Candyland and Battleship in development, Bazooka Joe in pre-production, you can just smell the pungent scent of crap wafting over the brain-trust of Hollywood.
Universal Studios is the one to blame for this latest nonsense, actually winning a bidding war to secure the rights, if you can believe that b.s.
All the sad details can be found at The Hollywood Reporter.
[Joystiq] Trine dev: Project is ‘a big mess’
![8cd64_trineprve21 [Joystiq] Trine dev: Project is a big mess](http://nintendods.wowgoldem.com/wp-content/plugins/wp-o-matic/cache/8cd64_trineprve21.jpg "[joystiq] Trine Dev: Project Is A Big Mess")
To be clear, Frozenbyte spokesman Joel Kinnunen wasn’t saying that the company’s fantasy action platformer itself is a mess, but everything surrounding it — like price point disparity between regions and territories — has become quite the kerfuffle.
The problem, apparently, is that Trine started life as PC game before migrating to PSN and (maybe) XBLA. While that may be good for getting the game to as many people as possible, it’s not ideal for a game launch.
"Trine as a project is a big mess," Kinnunen said, "as opposed to Trine as a game, which is pretty sweet. Ultimately it’s the game part that really matters and helps us sleep at night, though."![feedlogo [Joystiq] Trine dev: Project is a big mess](http://www.blogsmithmedia.com/http://www.joystiq.com/media/feedlogo.gif "[joystiq] Trine Dev: Project Is A Big Mess")
Trine dev: Project is ‘a big mess’ originally appeared on Joystiq on Fri, 03 Jul 2009 11:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.
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[Joystiq] Military gets its own gaming network, the MOG
![7c7b2_cod_waw_dlc580 [Joystiq] Military gets its own gaming network, the MOG](http://nintendods.wowgoldem.com/wp-content/plugins/wp-o-matic/cache/7c7b2_cod_waw_dlc580.jpg "[joystiq] Military Gets Its Own Gaming Network, The Mog")
Though you might think they’d welcome a break from shoot-’em-ups, members of the military are known to be a rich breeding ground for hardcore gamers. Now, just in time for Independence Day, they have their very own space in which to catch each other in the friendliest of fire: The Military Online Gaming program, a Global Gaming League-powered service that kicks off on the 4th with a Call of Duty: World at War tournament.
Though support will start with the 360, a rep from the group responsible, Pro vs. GI Joe, told Shacknews that our fighting men and women will soon be able to blast one another on PC and PS3 too.Military gets its own gaming network, the MOG originally appeared on Joystiq on Fri, 03 Jul 2009 10:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.
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[Joystiq] Alpha Protocol: The Espionage RPG: The Release Date
![2c1f3_alphaprotocol070309 [Joystiq] Alpha Protocol: The Espionage RPG: The Release Date](http://nintendods.wowgoldem.com/wp-content/plugins/wp-o-matic/cache/2c1f3_alphaprotocol070309.jpg "[joystiq] Alpha Protocol: The Espionage Rpg: The Release Date")
Sega of America has announced the release date for Obsidian’s Alpha Protocol, whatever that is. Oh, it’s "The Espionage RPG." How helpful! That game will be out on October 6.
In addition to the date announcement, Sega released the North American box art, which can be found in our gallery. We must warn you, however, before rush into the gallery, full of hope for a more exciting, distinctive box art image: it’s exactly the same as the UK box art seen yesterday, with the "PAL" label changed to "NTSC" and the PEGI rating box changed to an ESRB box. It’s still the same Pseudo-Bourne standing up in front of geography class.
Gallery: Alpha Protocol
![2b88d_alpha-protocol-cover-ps3_thumbnail [Joystiq] Alpha Protocol: The Espionage RPG: The Release Date](http://nintendods.wowgoldem.com/wp-content/plugins/wp-o-matic/cache/2b88d_alpha-protocol-cover-ps3_thumbnail.jpg "[joystiq] Alpha Protocol: The Espionage Rpg: The Release Date")
![0d9f9_alpha-protocol-cover-ps3-580px_thumbnail [Joystiq] Alpha Protocol: The Espionage RPG: The Release Date](http://nintendods.wowgoldem.com/wp-content/plugins/wp-o-matic/cache/0d9f9_alpha-protocol-cover-ps3-580px_thumbnail.jpg "[joystiq] Alpha Protocol: The Espionage Rpg: The Release Date")
![b0941_alpha-protocol-cover-pc_thumbnail [Joystiq] Alpha Protocol: The Espionage RPG: The Release Date](http://nintendods.wowgoldem.com/wp-content/plugins/wp-o-matic/cache/b0941_alpha-protocol-cover-pc_thumbnail.jpg "[joystiq] Alpha Protocol: The Espionage Rpg: The Release Date")
![cd38b_ap_screenshot_mar09_01_thumbnail [Joystiq] Alpha Protocol: The Espionage RPG: The Release Date](http://nintendods.wowgoldem.com/wp-content/plugins/wp-o-matic/cache/cd38b_ap_screenshot_mar09_01_thumbnail.jpg "[joystiq] Alpha Protocol: The Espionage Rpg: The Release Date")
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Alpha Protocol: The Espionage RPG: The Release Date originally appeared on Joystiq on Fri, 03 Jul 2009 09:15:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.
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[Joystiq] Pew! Pew! Kid becomes Mega Man, melts our hearts
![3fda9_pewpewpewpepwepwpw [Joystiq] Pew! Pew! Kid becomes Mega Man, melts our hearts](http://nintendods.wowgoldem.com/wp-content/plugins/wp-o-matic/cache/3fda9_pewpewpewpepwepwpw.jpg "[joystiq] Pew! Pew! Kid Becomes Mega Man, Melts Our Hearts")
Isn’t this kid absolutely adorable? Yeah, he is. But thanks to the power of the interwebs, you can see him in motion learning how to become everyone’s favorite blue bomber, Mega Man! (Check it out after the break!) This is guaranteed to warm your heart …
…
Unless it’s 15 years in the future, and you’re the kid that stars in this video. Then, you’re horribly embarrassed and you hate your parents.
[Via Capcom-Unity]Continue reading Pew! Pew! Kid becomes Mega Man, melts our hearts
Pew! Pew! Kid becomes Mega Man, melts our hearts originally appeared on Joystiq on Fri, 03 Jul 2009 08:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.
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Review: Yu-Gi-Oh 5D’s Stardust Accelerator for DS
Hey parents, want to save money? Of course you do. The Yu-Gi-Oh 5D’s Stardust Accelerator DS game by Konami will pay for itself. Why? Because with this game your kids will not be asking you to buy thousands of Yu-Gi-Oh cards every trip to Target or WalMart- they will have them in the game!
The game is wrapped around a Yu-Gi-Oh championship. Players duel with their cards, earn points to buy more cards and can compete in mini-games as they work their way through the Yu-Gi-Oh world. With 2,800 cards available, the Yu-Gi-Oh enthusiast will have a field day.
The game is rated “E” for everyone and seems fairly benign, at least as much as the TV show. Challenges increase as the player progresses so it keeps them trying and promotes a competitive spirit as well as the ability to deal with loss (because at some level, at least initially, they will lose). Players can also compete against others- Mulit-Card wiresless play is supported as well as WiFi competition. And the mini games that come between card battles include the Duel Runner motocycles that you can race and configure.
The real success in our house is how long it keeps my sons’ interest. This Yu0Gi-Oh 5D’s Stardust Accerlator has been in my youngest son’s DS for several weeks now. He at times is upset with a loss and is often overjoyed with a win, and tells us about it with a loud verbal exclamation. A lot of work and intesity goes into his gaming with this game so I have to say it is a captivating game, even though I have only been an onlooker.
And again, with access to all the cards through the game, the request for actual cards has gone down. Our family room floor has been clean. And it has been entertaining to see my son get excited about accomplishing things, winning new battles, and achieving progress throughout the story mode.
For any Yu-Gi-Oh fan with a DS, I would obviously recommend this game. For any card player (Pokemon, etc), it will likely be enjoyable. Two thumbs up from the Love House.
[Joystiq] New Batman: Arkham Asylum dev diary gives Batman a terrible evening
From what we played of the game’s campaign back at E3, we’re not sure exactly how Eidos/Warner Bros. plan to keep the game’s T rating, as evidenced by the few gameplay snippets you see in the developer diary above. We are, however, surprisingly excited for the game’s release in late August — and glad we don’t have to bring along Mom to buy us the game.
Gallery: Batman: Arkham Asylum
![c2a55_highres_screenshot_00005_resize-3272009-580px_thumbnail [Joystiq] New Batman: Arkham Asylum dev diary gives Batman a terrible evening](http://nintendods.wowgoldem.com/wp-content/plugins/wp-o-matic/cache/c2a55_highres_screenshot_00005_resize-3272009-580px_thumbnail.jpg "[joystiq] New Batman: Arkham Asylum Dev Diary Gives Batman A Terrible Evening")
![d2b32_highres_screenshot_00005_resize-3272009-4_thumbnail [Joystiq] New Batman: Arkham Asylum dev diary gives Batman a terrible evening](http://nintendods.wowgoldem.com/wp-content/plugins/wp-o-matic/cache/d2b32_highres_screenshot_00005_resize-3272009-4_thumbnail.jpg "[joystiq] New Batman: Arkham Asylum Dev Diary Gives Batman A Terrible Evening")
![0b76f_intensive_treatment_34_resize-3272009-1_thumbnail [Joystiq] New Batman: Arkham Asylum dev diary gives Batman a terrible evening](http://nintendods.wowgoldem.com/wp-content/plugins/wp-o-matic/cache/0b76f_intensive_treatment_34_resize-3272009-1_thumbnail.jpg "[joystiq] New Batman: Arkham Asylum Dev Diary Gives Batman A Terrible Evening")
![50d11_intensive_treatment_22_resize-3272009-10_thumbnail [Joystiq] New Batman: Arkham Asylum dev diary gives Batman a terrible evening](http://nintendods.wowgoldem.com/wp-content/plugins/wp-o-matic/cache/50d11_intensive_treatment_22_resize-3272009-10_thumbnail.jpg "[joystiq] New Batman: Arkham Asylum Dev Diary Gives Batman A Terrible Evening")
![91ce3_intensive_treatment_08_resize-3272009-3_thumbnail [Joystiq] New Batman: Arkham Asylum dev diary gives Batman a terrible evening](http://nintendods.wowgoldem.com/wp-content/plugins/wp-o-matic/cache/91ce3_intensive_treatment_08_resize-3272009-3_thumbnail.jpg "[joystiq] New Batman: Arkham Asylum Dev Diary Gives Batman A Terrible Evening")
New Batman: Arkham Asylum dev diary gives Batman a terrible evening originally appeared on Joystiq on Thu, 02 Jul 2009 22:45:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.
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[Joystiq] Fallout 3 50 percent off on Steam
![4f89d_falloutphone [Joystiq] Fallout 3 50 percent off on Steam](http://nintendods.wowgoldem.com/wp-content/plugins/wp-o-matic/cache/4f89d_falloutphone.jpg "[joystiq] Fallout 3 50 Percent Off On Steam")
You really have no excuse for not owning Fallout 3 at this point. Not only is it a really excellent game, it’s packing tons of value with all the different DLC available. And let’s not forget the indescribable pleasure of having Danny Kaye songs endlessly stuck in your head.
Now that the game’s been slashed to $24.99 for the weekend on Steam, you have less than no excuse. It’s like … negative excuse, which we believe means you’re legally obligated to buy a copy, even if you already own one.Fallout 3 50 percent off on Steam originally appeared on Joystiq on Thu, 02 Jul 2009 22:15:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.
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[Joystiq] Marvelous looking into HD ports of Wii games
![0b447_marveloushdportsh [Joystiq] Marvelous looking into HD ports of Wii games](http://nintendods.wowgoldem.com/wp-content/plugins/wp-o-matic/cache/0b447_marveloushdportsh.jpg "[joystiq] Marvelous Looking Into Hd Ports Of Wii Games")
"Wii has no hardcore games" is about as old, lame and untrue as "the PS3 has no games," and "Xbox 360 has only shooters." Real gamers know that each of the platforms has its gems — but not everyone can afford all three gaming consoles.
Marvelous may be expanding its portfolio to include more non-Nintendo systems. Already, the publisher is working on a PS3 and Xbox 360 game, Rainy Woods; however, according to a report by Siliconera, the publisher may look into porting some of its diverse Wii lineup onto the HD systems. Games like No More Heroes and the upcoming Muramasa would certainly appeal to the hardcore PlayStation and Xbox crowds. In fact, Suda 51’s most recent comments suggest an HD future for his franchise. With just a little bit of polish, those two could easily transform from good-looking Wii games into gorgeous PS3 and 360 titles.
[Thanks, tmacairjordan87!]Marvelous looking into HD ports of Wii games originally appeared on Joystiq on Thu, 02 Jul 2009 21:45:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.
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[Joystiq] Cliff Bleszinski explains why there are so many bald space marines
![ee545_gears2withcliffyb580pxheader [Joystiq] Cliff Bleszinski explains why there are so many bald space marines](http://nintendods.wowgoldem.com/wp-content/plugins/wp-o-matic/cache/ee545_gears2withcliffyb580pxheader.jpg "[joystiq] Cliff Bleszinski Explains Why There Are So Many Bald Space Marines")
If you think Unreal Engine 3 games feature too much gray and brown, laden with "pillars and girders," all being stomped around on by bald space marines, Cliff "Young Clifford" Bleszinski wants you to blame the tech. Speaking with Develop recently, the man that birthed Marcus Fenix said, "The technology of this generation just happens to be very good at rendering metals and stones and dramatic lighting." He argues that "translucent effects" are much harder to pull of with the technology given and as such, "the tech is good at showing off armor and it’s not that good at doing hair … that’s why we have bald space marines."
Though we’d argue that there are lots of bald men in our lives who happen to not be space marines — CheapyD and Dr. Manhattan prime among them — we can appreciate how Marcus Fenix may be more equipped to take down the Locust than an omnipotent blue man. Wait a minute! Interestingly, Bleszinski also notes during the interview that he’s got "like five projects going on right now" — we’re counting Shadow Complex and another (still unannounced) Gears of War, which leaves three unannounced projects? Something is afoot at Epic Games. And it almost certainly involves bald space marines.Cliff Bleszinski explains why there are so many bald space marines originally appeared on Joystiq on Thu, 02 Jul 2009 21:15:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.
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